Attachment Parenting

What is attachment parenting? Before becoming a parent my husband and I read almost all the guideline books we could find. The one that amazed me most was one on attachment parenting techniques.

The truth is that attachment parenting is a rigid and perhaps over-disciplined method of child rearing and you certainly won't find me doing it!

I must admit that I fully do not understand why so many parents are hell bent on doing attachment parenting. 

Now with having two small children of my own, I think I understand it even less than when I was looking at it from a childfree perspective. 

Although I do some things that may be considered part of attachment parenting, I cannot imagine being so immersed in something like this that I would beat myself up over not carrying my child in a sling all day. 

Personally, I think there are much better things to be concerned with than if my child has bonded with me enough through being carried.

Another thing with attachment parenting is that it seems to go hand in hand with mothers that are deemed as “crunchy”, or that like to do things in the most natural way possible.  For instance, this includes breastfeeding for as long as three or four years.  In my opinion, this is going a little to the extreme. 

While breastfeeding certainly is the best, going that long coupled with carrying in a sling most of the time, seems to me that it produces children that are dependent upon their parents and are introverted and often don’t do things for themselves.

Mothers that follow attachment parenting are well within their rights to do so, and they of course think that they are doing everything that benefits their child.  When looking at it from that viewpoint, it is almost impossible to fault a mother for doing what she thinks is best for her child.  The truth is that in reality that is what every single caring mother does. 

The problem I see with attachment parenting, or even other parenting styles, is that it follows a guidebook. You must do this, and you must do that. When you start following guidelines and rules for raising your children, you are setting yourself up for disappointment.

Especially if you are unable to follow everything to a tee.  The best advice I have been given for raising a child is to just follow your instincts, and everything will work out just fine. 

Sure, we can follow some recommendations, but to follow an entire style of parenting such as attachment parenting does not allow room for what you feel you should do.  Look at these parentg styles at face value, and do not feel the need to follow everything verbatim.  Allow yourself to make your own decisions, and everything should be fine.

At the end of the day, you as apparent must decide how you want to rear your children. Attachment parenting as a rearing style seems to result in coy and introverted children, who cannot socialize with their natural environment. So perhaps before you commit to having a parenting style be your guru, trust your own instincts.

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